Amygdala Hijacking: When Emotions Take the Wheel
By Radie Hain, OTD, OTR/L
Have you ever watched a toddler have a meltdown because their banana broke in half? You’ve witnessed an amygdala hijack in action. Have you ever lashed out in anger and regretted it moments later? You may have been hijacked too. That’s your brain’s “emergency system” taking over, what scientists call an amygdala hijack. Let’s unpack this powerful brain reaction and how understanding it can transform the way we care for kids—and ourselves too.
Psychologist Daniel Goleman refers to the term amygdala hijack as an emotional overreaction that occurs in the brain’s amygdala. This is the part responsible for processing emotions, especially fear and threat, it takes control of your behavior before your logical brain, the prefrontal cortex, can weigh in.
This response is rooted in survival. When our ancestors saw a predator, the amygdala triggered a fight-or-flight reaction to help them escape danger. But in modern life, the “threats” we encounter are often emotional—like being not getting invited to a birthday party or being left out of playing kickball at recess. Yet the brain still reacts as if our life is in danger.
To really understand amygdala hijacking, we need to take a closer look at how the brain works—especially when it comes to managing emotions. One of the key players is the amygdala, a structure deep in the brain. Its main job is to scan for danger and respond to threats. It’s fast, emotional, and reactive. When something feels scary, overwhelming, or frustrating—whether it’s a loud sound, a challenging social situation, or simply being told “no”—the amygdala is the first to react. It triggers the body’s stress response, flooding the system with adrenaline and cortisol to prepare for fight, flight, or freeze. This response is essential for survival in true emergencies, but in everyday situations, it can lead to emotional outbursts and dysregulation.
Another important part of the brain is the prefrontal cortex, located behind the forehead. This is the “thinking brain”—it helps us make decisions, control impulses, and reflect on our actions. But here’s the catch, in children, the prefrontal cortex is still developing. It won’t fully mature until the mid-20s, which means kids have a harder time using reason to manage big emotions. During an amygdala hijack, the prefrontal cortex gets temporarily “shut down” or the logical part of the brain goes offline. This is why reasoning with a child mid-meltdown does not work—they are not in a state where they can process logic or instructions.
There’s also the hippocampus; the part of the brain that helps store memories and recognize familiar experiences. It works closely with the amygdala to evaluate whether something is dangerous based on past experiences. In kids, this can be a double-edged sword; if a previous experience felt overwhelming or unsafe, the brain may respond strongly to even a small reminder of that moment.
What does all this mean? It means that when a child is in the middle of a meltdown or panic, their brain is doing exactly what it thinks it needs to do to stay safe. They’re not being manipulative or “bad”—they’re experiencing a moment when emotion overrides logic. As a caregiver, it is important to co-regulate with them —to stay calm, create safety, and help guide them back to a regulated state. Only once their emotional brain calms down, the thinking brain can come back online, then they can start to reflect, learn, and grow from the experience. Understanding this brain-based response helps us shift from reacting in frustration to responding with validation and regulation and can approach the child with more empathy—and it’s one of the most powerful tools we have in pediatric care and parenting.
Understanding amygdala hijacking helps us to; respond to meltdowns without escalating them, support them in developing emotional regulation, and model calmness or co-regulate. So, when you see; a preschooler scream and throw toys when told its bedtime, a teenager slams their door after a disagreement over screen time, or a child with sensory sensitivities melts down in a loud, crowded room, these are not signs of disrespect—they’re signs that the brain is overwhelmed and here’s how we can help.
- Stay Calm Yourself
- Kids co-regulate with adults. If your own amygdala gets hijacked, it fuels the fire. Deep breathing, grounding, and stepping away if needed can help.
- Validate the Feeling, Not the Behavior
- “You’re really upset that we have to leave the park. I get it.” Acknowledging the emotion helps the child feel seen, which calms the nervous system.
- Don’t Try to Reason Mid-Meltdown
- Wait until the child is calm before discussing what happened or what to do differently next time.
- Teach Regulation Skills During Calm Moments
- Practice breathing, naming emotions, using safe outlets (like squeezing a stress ball or drawing how they feel).
- Use Visuals and Routines
- Predictability helps reduce the emotional load. Visual schedules or routine charts can lessen the likelihood of a hijack.
And just remember parents and pediatric professionals aren’t immune to hijacks either. Long days, loud environments, sleep deprivation—these can all make our emotional threshold lower than we realize. Taking care of our own nervous systems—through rest, connection, and self-compassion—is key to helping the children in our care.
Remember that a tantrum is just sometimes the brains in survival mode. An amygdala hijack doesn’t mean your child is broken—or that you’re failing as a caregiver. It means the brain is doing what it was designed to do under stress. When we understand this, we stop reacting to the storm and start guiding our kids through it—with empathy, patience, and more understanding.